Family Member: “I am calling to tell you she died back in January.”
Citibank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”
Family Member: “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.”
Citibank: “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.”
Family Member: “So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”
Citibank: “Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!”
Family Member: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”
Citibank: “Excuse me?”
Family Member: “Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?”
Citibank: “Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.”
Supervisor gets on the phone...
Family Member: “I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.”
Citibank: “The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.”
Family Member: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”
Citibank: (Stammer) “Are you her lawyer?”
Family Member: “No, I'm her great nephew.” (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”
Family Member: “Sure...” (Fax number was given)
After they get the fax...
Citibank: “Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.”
Family Member: “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.”
Citibank: “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.”
Family Member: “Would you like her new billing address?”
Citibank: “That might help...”
Family Member: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”
Citibank: “Sir, that's a cemetery !”
Family Member: “And what do you do with dead people on your planet?”